Tag Archives: writing

Quote of the Week

It took me fifteen years to discover

I had no talent for writing, but couldn’t give it up because by that time

I was too famous.
-Robert Benchley


A Husband and His Gift

George’s wife Felicia Had been complaining for some time that she wanted to lose weight. George did notice his wife had put on a few extra pounds but wouldn’t dare say a word to hurt his wife’s feelings. Felicia would say things like,” I need to lose weight, I can’t even fit in my favorite jeans any more. George do you think I look big? ” George would quickly reply, “No babe, you look great the way you are. Don’t beat yourself up to much about it. We can always buy more jeans.” His wife turned visibly upset by his comment and stormed of saying, “You just don’t care about how I look.” George left it alone as he knew that if he was to say anything else she would only get mad at him.

A few months had gone by with no further incident about his wife’s weight issue. That Saturday was Felicia’s birthday and George was very excited to give his wife her girt. He had put a lot of thought into it this year. During dinner George jumped from the table and said, “stay right here, I am going to get your gift!” As George came back his wife smiled with surprise as George gave her a dozen roses and a nicely wrapped gift box. George was very excited for his wife to open her gift and couldn’t wait saying, ” hurry up, you’re going to love it!” Felicia tore into the wrapping in a hurry as she could not wait to see what was inside the box. Her eyes were lit up and a grin from ear to ear. As she reached inside the box her face turned from excitement to confused. George couldn’t contain himself and shouted, ” It’s the new diet pills from GNC and a year membership to our local gym!” George knew he got it right this time. Suddenly the bottled fly’s by his head. George flinched as he backed up to see what was happening. His wife jumps from the table and begins hitting George with the dozen roses over the head shouting, “How can you be such an asshole! I can’t believe you think I need to lose weight!” George was scared out of his mind and ran for the front door to avoid getting beat to death by the roses shouting, ” I thought you would like it to help you get back into your favorite jeans!” Felicia started crying and she was very upset say to George, You are the rudest husband in the world! You don’t love me at all!”

This actually happened. If your wife or girlfriend ever asks you questions about weight, do not say anything that might upset them. I will say, diet pills and gym memberships are not the best idea if your loved one is having problems with their weight. Take it from me, a guy who has been married a few times.

My memories, My Memoir

Since I became disabled from a rare autoimmune disease, I have found that writing was very therapeutic. Being able to write my thoughts down on paper was keeping me sane. The disease took my ability to live the life I knew. I had to learn to live the new life I was given because of the destruction from my disease. My doctor even told me that my life would make a great book. It took a few years to realize I had a lot to offer readers.


Since starting to write my memoir book I have come across a few critics, mainly myself. Who would want to read this? You do not even know the first thing about writing. Being an author takes years of training. Just a few self doubting phrases that my inner critic throws out at me to keep me from my goal. I have to quiet that part of my mind and allow myself to just let my pen flow. A few other people in my life have also made statements that I took to heart and began thinking that maybe they are right. Maybe I am dreaming to big. I began to think that if I listened to every “negative Nancy” that I have come across in life, I would not have done many things. I use that as motivation to push me through my web of doubt. I had to build confidence within myself to know that I want my story to be told.


The thought of what my family might think of some of the things I have put on paper does not hinder me, or keep me from writing. If it was not for my family, I would have never had some of the best experiences throughout my life, some good, some bad. My family did put the “D” in dysfunctional. I have told them that this is my memory and emotions that made me who I am today. If they wanted to tell the world their side, by all means write yourself a memoir book.


The problems I face in my writing is the fear that my writing is vague and emotionless. Emotion is something I buried with 21 years of alcoholism. I am learning how to convey emotion in words, and not just feeling. I find myself tearing up when I dig deep and write my deepest emotional memories. Even if this book never makes the shelves, I will have healed very old wounds that I harbored deep inside myself. My only regret about writing this memoir, is that I did not start it sooner!